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#21 [url]

Apr 28 15 4:11 PM

BTW, to reach a 149-0 score one need to score in about every 36 seconds.

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#22 [url]

Apr 28 15 5:22 PM

TheRoonBa wrote:
If you put a pub team against Brazil, and both teams tried their best - the score would probably not be as high as 149-0.
You're just setting him up for a David Luiz joke, aren't you? smiley: indifferent



On the point of 'history books', I'm referring to the popular media who would ignore those results from your Madagascars or your Yugoslavias and focus on 'proper' games smiley: eyes. How do we know for sure that Bon Accord were putting in the effort, weren't they a cricket club drafted in at the last minute that didn't really want to be there?

Also, that point on a goal every 36 seconds, SO l'Emyrne were really going at it with the own goals, but I'd imagine they could have gotten more though if they weren't slacking so much smiley: roll. On the basis of the 'fastest goal ever' contenders being under 3 seconds, and the assumption that the referee adds injury time for gaps between kick-offs, we're looking at 20 own-goals per minute, for a grand total of 1800-0 in a hypothetical 'perfect terrible game'. Assuming of course we don't have a referee who's decided to make the game even longer... or an own goal scorer who has mastered the art of kicking a ball at lightspeed, in which case their talents are probably being wasted...

Semi-related, I played a game of FIFA 15 recently on the easiest possible setting (but in hindsight should have altered the sliders to give my players superhuman abilities and the opponents the opposite), as the 'Club Classico' against a downloadable team of 'stat boosting' players (almost all rated 1/99), 20 minute halves to see how many goals I could get. Final score 120-0, going cricket-style on my projected goal rate (3/minute) it would be 270-0 over 90 minutes, I really feel I could've gotten more though, Rudi Voller was carrying those guys with his 25-goal contribution...

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#24 [url]

Apr 28 15 9:19 PM

mattsanger92 wrote:
TheRoonBa wrote:
If you put a pub team against Brazil, and both teams tried their best - the score would probably not be as high as 149-0.
You're just setting him up for a David Luiz joke, aren't you? smiley: indifferent
Surely David Luiz would be substituted after the score got to about 50 or so.

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#25 [url]

Apr 29 15 6:32 AM

TheRoonBa wrote:
I think it's very unlikely to get a scoreline of above 90 (1 goal per minute) in any game of adult football at any level.
Obviously unlikely, I was just pointing out that at its extremes (with the referee co-operating on restart timing) you can go quicker.

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#26 [url]

Apr 29 15 9:08 AM

I followed some of the latest AC Milan's performances and they can easily fall within this topic. This club has often given football lessons to Europe in the last decades, but now they're living a very mediocre phase, surely the worst period in Silvio Berlusconi era.

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TheRoonBa

Posts: 5,508 Site Admin

#27 [url]

Apr 29 15 3:00 PM

Well, 10th place in the Serie A, relatively speaking, is not bad. Most big teams have average seasons where they finish mid-table. AC Milan can still beat Montrose.

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#29 [url]

Apr 30 15 9:10 AM

A 10th place in Serie A in the 1990s could be a decent result, considering the high level in that period, but now Serie A is a very mediocre tournament.
And what upsets is the fact that AC Milan has a debt of 65,000,000 £. So if you have such a debt and you are 10th in Serie A, it means your managers have worked very bad lately...

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#30 [url]

Jun 12 15 9:12 PM

Not clubs, and not a single performance, but how about Macao's effort in the 1985 Asian U16 championship qualifiers.

Played 4 lost 4, scored 0, conceded 61.

21- 8 North Yemen 16-0 Macao
23- 8 China 11-0 Macao
25- 8 Kuwait 21-0 Macao
27- 8 India 13-0 Macao

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#31 [url]

Jun 30 16 11:37 PM

I must add England 2016 to the above catalogue of dross. It really was a severely spineless display. Clearly Hodgson was still experimenting during the tournament with no real clue what the best options were. Strange lack of resolve from such an experienced coach.

Why so many Tottenham players? Didn't they completely fold in the title race? Weren't they all tired out? Why not use more Leicester players? Or even West Ham? Sure, Spurs were better over the full season but they had run out of gas by the end and were mentally bummed. England's performances were just an extension of Tottenham's lame finale to the season, but without Tottenham's one genuine world class player (Lloris).

How could Sterling and Wilshere be justified having shown nothing all season? A one-legged Lallana would have been better.

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#32 [url]

Jul 3 16 2:08 PM

This is a club thread, please take that elsewhere smiley: frown. However the first 3 matches were really promising for England, just failed to get decisive goals in 2 of them, but then against Iceland it was just completely toothless, what a time to lose your first competitive match in 2 years... maybe I'm taking it well just because of being half-Welsh and how well that's turning out right now...

As for the defeat, another theory could be that the England players were just choosing this moment to get more in touch with the people as is so often desired, by orchestrating their own European exit against the odds of all sensible estimations...

I did find ITV's immediate aftermath to Hodgson's resignation amusing though, they put up the odds of the favourites to be his successor, a 6-strong list that included the names of Brendan Rodgers (who has just started work at his boyhood club), Gary Neville (minutes beforehand had resigned from the England team by way of Roy's speech, will probably now take a few jokes from Carragher before settling back into his comfortable Sky Sports gig), Eddie Howe (could be a strong fit but he won't be given any room for failure by our lovely media), and Arsene Wenger because why not.

If you discount the favourite Gareth Southgate on the stretch of reasoning that he'd rather continue his U21 work, the most likely candidate left is this man (god help us):


Last Edited By: mattsanger92 Jul 3 16 2:11 PM. Edited 1 time.

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#37 [url]

Jul 14 16 6:05 PM

mattsanger92 wrote:
the most likely candidate left is this man (god help us):



So it looks like The FA are going for someone other than Smooth Alan, a wiser choice from a professional and tactical point of view but in the interest of fairness there are other qualities that need to be measured too:






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#38 [url]

Jul 14 16 6:13 PM

pieter wrote:
or the best performance of a Gibraltar team....incredible result
Yep, that part shouldn't be understated in amongst all the negativity. Celtic were atrocious (something something trashy tabloid headline), but the Imps played well. Looking positively it can be seen as a brilliant result for Lincoln Red Imps more than it is a terrible result for Celtic.

Having said that though, I noticed on the BBC before the game that a Celtic fan tweeted in suggesting that big clubs such as his shouldn't have to go through the indignity of playing the qualifying rounds (presumably he's been in a coma for Celtic's last few seasons), so... smiley: rollsmiley: rollsmiley: rollsmiley: rollsmiley: roll at him and anyone who holds similar sentiments.

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#39 [url]

Jul 15 16 8:34 PM

mattsanger92 wrote:
before the game that a Celtic fan tweeted in suggesting that big clubs such as his shouldn't have to go through the indignity
Presumably he favours simply declining the option of entering the European Cup then.  Celtic will probably go through and then get pumped by some Moldovans or Kazakhs in the next round anyway.

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#40 [url]

Jul 16 16 11:38 AM

You're not too far off with your predictions there for the potential next opponent... draw happened yesterday, Lincoln or Celtic play FC Astana or Zalgiris Vilnius.

Europa League draw happened as well, looks like West Ham's planned grand opening of their new home with a friendly (sorry, "Betway Cup") against Juventus will actually be their 2nd game played there, their real opening game at the Olympic Stadium will be against Shakhtyor Soligorsk from Belarus or NK Domzale from Slovenia... will be interesting to see if they can manage a 60,000 sell-out (you'd imagine the 'new home' angle should be enough on it's own) or how the club treats the occasion.

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